(click on photo to see more self-portraits by the artist, Christian Hopkins. They are gorgeous–eerie, strangely familiar.)

Art created while INSIDE of depression.


Brings to mind the act of suffering as being (at times) a kind of performance. An enactment of grief.

Is “suffering” different once it’s made “public”?
How does one “perform” suffering?
Does it change once it’s externalized? Does it no longer belong to you?

Issues of propriety. MY GRIEF. MY BLUE.

If human suffering is inevitable, then what are our reflexive coping mechanisms?

Where, in human evolution, did that develop?
Under what conditions?

What would happen if we just skipped that step?

Would we all be swallowed by that which consumes us?

One man’s method of coping. Similar to Bluets. But visual.

“The images reveal a vulnerability that speaks to just about everyone. While Hopkins’ mental and emotional state may be heightened at different intervals, there’s an incredibly relatable sentiment in his work that mirrors bouts with depression, loneliness, lethargy, and a mental battle with oneself.

“I was going to delete my photographs. I was going through a somewhat severe episode of depression, and I am often not myself during said episodes. Who ‘myself’ may truly be is still something I struggle with daily… If anything, I hope I helped someone with my photography. They’re me. Perhaps they are you as well. Maybe they’re neither. Maybe they’re we.”


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